And the results are ....

That's a big fat negative folks. We are obviously disappointed but it's only our first "go round" so to say so we didn't really expect a positive result. We shall "Keep Calm & Carry On".

We'd like to thank all of you for your thoughts & support & mostly prayers.

I spoke with a Dr. at UConn who is also top in the fertility field. He read my results & said we should go with injectable meds because of my age instead of Clomid then the IUI. (Yes, it isn't the way I envisioned getting pregnant but after 5 almost 6 years of doing things "the old-fashioned" way we just want to be parents already).
So we will scrimp & save to be able to afford it.

Heading to bed. Exhausted after thinking about the disappointment of today & options for our future plans. We've got some decisions to make.

Ill go into those at a later time.

Thanks again,

A & J

Tick ... Tock ... Tick ... Tock ...

Could time go any slower?? 

Well .... It's January 29th & I've been going semi "crazy".  LOL .. Just kidding, I'm not patient enough to wait until the 2nd of February until I can test to see if I'm pregnant.  I actually took a test yesterday much to my husband's chagrin.  He said "You know you're testing too early & when it comes back negative don't be disappointed but it comes back positive you'll need to call an ambulance to have them come & pick me up off the floor."  He was semi kidding of course.  LOL ... He will be shocked if we do get a positive pregnancy test.  I'm not sure who's going to hit the floor first, him or me!  ; ) 

I have been putting off my ultrasound as I was hoping that I was wrong about it being a cyst & would start feeling better.  Nope, so I go get an ultrasound tomorrow.  I'm nervous as every time I go in it just seems that I get more & more bad news.  If I do have another cyst then no more Clomid until we can figure out why I'm getting cysts which are new for me & then get rid of them.  (sigh)

So .. I try & keep myself busy during the day.  It snowed last night & Jonathan went skiing to just get out & reduce stress.  I stayed home & chilled with the dogs.  We went out & played in the snow - the puppy LOVES the snow & was rolling (literally) around in it while we were out.  LOL ... that reduced my stress so today was an overall great day. 

I DID do some research on different facilities & connected with a very kind lady at the University of Connecticut.  I emailed my test results out for the Head of the Department to look at them & just give his opinion.  I trust & love my Dr. but I'd be remiss if I didn't get a second opinion before we spend $20,000 & used an egg donor or embryo adoption if that's in fact the way we decide to go.  I'd recommend that to anyone going through this process do as much research you can, form your own opinion - every center is different & has different approaches & then get a second opinion - unless you get pregnant right way then congrats!  Some centers will grab your records & just give you a 15 minute consult over the phone for free.  Who knew right?  You've got to be your own advocate & that's what I'm doing.  Hubby is right on board with me!  :)  

This is how we feel about time right now!

Enough for now.  Time for bed.  One day down, a few more to go!  Not sure if they could tell if I am pregnant tomorrow or if it's too early.  Guess we'll see.  I'm thinking I'm not as I'm not showing any signs or symptoms ... But I've been ORDERED told by my best friend, Sarah, to remain positive.  So positive it shall be. 

  

Goodnight & thanks for reading. 

 

New Development ...

Well ... Today there was a small development.

If you may remember from earlier posts, I had to defer any hormone stimulation due to a large ovarian cyst in my right ovary. After 3 months that cyst was seen on ultrasound to have shrunken to a manageable size to where my Physician believed it had dissolved or possibly burst and we began hormone treatment (The Clomid).

Well today some ovarian pain came back & my Dr. believes there may be another cyst that's materialized or just grown. (The hormones would've made it grow.) So on Monday if I'm still having pain off to get a fun internal Ultrasound I go. They're NOT fun, trust me. (Rolling eyes)

This weekend, if I experience sharp pain then it's off to the Emergency Room where the on call Reproductive Endocrinologist can be paged to figure out if its a twisted ovary or if its growth pain of the cyst or if the cyst has burst.

This weekend shall be interesting & I plan on chilling, no wild parties or head stands. Lol.

Hopefully this will be me soon ... Happy as a lark but KNOCKED UP! :-)

The "Awakening"

Well ... time to catch everyone up on what's been going on.

So ... I took my last dosage of Clomid & wow!  You'd think there were little gnomes inside of me just a working away on my ovaries harvesting those eggs!  Holy cow!  I'm really aware of my body, I need to be especially around ovulation time.  I normally ovulate on my right side.  Well, my left side decided to wake from it's slumber & join the party!  I'm not quite sure what it's issue has been for the past probably year but it's been on a little staycation & just hanging out not really doing anything.  My right ovary has been doing all of the work which I'm sure it's quite bitter about.  Kinda like when I was a kid & my little brother refused to do the dishes when he was told to & I got stuck with them.  You know what I'm talking about.  

So my left ovary is awakened & rumbling around, kinda trying to figure out if it's going to release an egg or not.  I'm tracking my ovulation.  Now this it the FUN part (not) I have to be up by 0700 & basically urinate into a cup (not a coffee cup mind you, it's a ovulation kit so it has it's own little cup & sticks.) & put a stick in, wait 5 minutes & see if there's 2 pink lines that tell me that my hormone levels are up meaning I'm ovulating.  Then when the stick turns that I am ovulating I have to call the on call Dr. & let them know what I'm ovulating.  This has to be before 0730 - I still haven't figured out why. LOL -  This gives us a 12-hour window to do our "thing" in order to catch that egg (or eggs with the Clomid) to conceive.  Our Dr. gave us a 25% chance due to how many egg follicles I have.  I've got 32.  Most women have 11 to 15.  So it's just the actual AGE of my eggs that are the issue.  Ugh (banging forehead against the wall).  Who said 40's are our best??  

Now I'm not sure how many of you know but I'm married to a Paramedic who works 24-hour shifts ... yeah ... that means that if I'm ovulating on one of shift days, that means we may miss our window of opportunity.  Luckily this month he was home.  YAY!  

Here's where it's going to get real & honest ... Sadly the romance was taken out of it.  If you're going through this you have to so your "thing" on cue.  I love my husband & the greatest gift of our love is making a baby but to actually have to do it on a set day then again the next day & a day later just gets kinda old.  I'm just being honest & I know my husband would say the exact same thing.  You've just got to talk about it & remember that you're doing this out of love.   Okay, enough serious stuff!  

So ... back to my over working ovaries!  They're doing they're thing then BAM!  My right ovary releases an egg.  HOLY CRAP!  I'm doubled over!  WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!  LOL ... I actually felt it physically release from the follicle.  It was JUST like those videos we got to see when we were in high school when they separated the girls & the boys and we got to see the "video" about being a woman.  Yeah, it was like that.  It happened three times.  It was truly the strangest thing ever.  Normally when I ovulate I get a little pang & I know it's time but not this gut wrenching pain.  After it was over I could I sort of feel the egg travel down.  It truly was THE strangest thing.  

Youch! X3 shooting out!

 So, my ovaries are feeling like lemons, maybe oranges & if one of the dogs steps on them I'm throwing them off of me.  Okay, NOT throwing them, just gently removing them.  Normally I let them lay on my belly but not since the Clomid.  No puppies on my belly!  Not happening.  I'm still sore!  I'm not sure if that means that it's a side effect of the Clomid & it's just calming down or if I am pregnant.  Hoping the latter of course.  

Went to Target & got a flu shot & got the preservative free one - my Pharmacist loves me so much!  She's looking out for me.  She remembered that I got the Clomid & asked if I had taken it & when I had ovulated & if we had done our "thing" ... her exact words, I swear.  She's so funny.  So I had to drive to another Target to get a preservative free shot but it's better to be safe than sorry.  I'm thankful to her.  She's great.  

So ... ovaries are still in overtime.  I test February 2nd to see if I'm the big P!  I'll let y'all know.  : ) 

I have also heard that there are some readers who are going through what I'm going through.  I hope that my humor isn't offensive & that I'm making you laugh & helping you.  You're ALWAYS welcome to email me & ask any questions you may have.  My email is AmyMullins13@hotmail.com.  This fertility stuff is confusing, emotional, technical & scary.  We all need to stick together so contact me if you need support.  

Much love to you all!

P.S. One last anecdote ... My amazing hubby was laying around with me the other day & I thanked him for putting up with me during this whole ordeal & he said to me "Well it was sortra difficult because to be honest for a few days you were a hormonal raging bitch."  I just laughed.  I think I'm back to normal.  :)   

Weighing on my mind ...

Life's not fair ...

0630 today I was awoken suddenly to our big dog, Cameron, growling to some strange noise that startled me.  I initially didn't understand what was going on.  Sometimes he barks at the construction workers getting up & going to their cars going to work but it was Sunday so I knew it wasn't that.  

It took me a second to realize exactly what he was growling in fear at ... the noise of a child crying & being THROWN around.  HUH??  It took me a second to exactly piece what was going on.  A small child with a high pitched voice meaning he or she was about between the ages of 2 or 3 based on its muffled cries.  I could tell their mouth was being covered.  They were crying out of desperation as they were clearly being thrown around a bathtub.  That has a very distinct sound. 

I flailed out of bed waking my husband & telling him to take the dogs out for a walk & that maybe if they were out & it was quiet I could figure out which unit it was coming from.  Then just as soon as it started, the desperate crying & flailing stopped.  

I started to cry, I figured my worst nightmare had come true.  That this poor child had been hurt beyond repair.  I waited a few minutes with my ear to the wall of our bathroom praying I would hear something ... then a few minutes later I heard muffled crying again & the child being thrown against a wall.  I figured out where it was coming from!  Finally!  

I ran to the phone & called the front desk & got a man, Johnathan, who I know well.  I was, as some of you may be, in tears .. My Jonathan was outside with the dogs & walked in on this not fully understanding what was going on.  I was just off the phone with tears streaming down my face.  He didn't want to take the other 2 dogs out but I said I was okay & that PD was on their way to check on the child.  Luckily Front Desk Johnathan had checked this "family" in the night before & knew who the were & which room they were in.  I ran back to the bathroom to listen some more but didn't hear anything, I figure that since we live in a small suburb & that it was so early that PD got that quickly, we're 2 blocks from the Station.  

Life's not fair ... I've heard that it's normal for couples, especially women, going through fertility issues to be frustrated at those who have children or have them easily.  I honestly haven't had issues with my family & friends who are mature & can afford them (they don't need to be rich but give them the basic food, shelter, clothing, education, affection & most of all love.) I'm honestly happy for them.  Some of my family & friends get pregnant & I find out later they've had their own private struggles.  Unfortunately I have a friend who jumps to conclusions & is stuck in this frustration phase & doesn't attempt to walk a 1/4 mile in others shoe's.  We don't know everyone's stories until we communicate ... but that's another story for another blog.  

Today ... I was FRUSTRATED!  Who are these parent's to throw their toddler around?  Cover his little mouth while he was trying to cry & he was obviously upset?  I'd rather listen to a child cry than that!!  I don't care WHAT time in the morning it is, children cry, they get upset, it's just part of who they are.  You don't throw your child up against walls or the tub so hard that it's heard across a building with reinforced walls.  I was sad, frustrated & angry.  Why is it that THESE people can have a child yet WE can't?  Why was God punishing US?  We treat our dogs better than these "parent's" treat their child.  I've taken care of enough kids - friend's kids, nieces & nephews & the children of the PEDS Unit & in the EMS field to know that there's a lot of ways to entertain or sooth a child ... sometimes they just need to cry & you just hold them & let them cry it out ... My mom used to take my brother's for car rides.  You DON'T thrown them up against walls & hold their mouths closed.  Yes, I'm ANGRY!  

The Police came to our door & wanted to talk to me to get my side of the story, I wanted to remain anonymous only because if it was some nasty gang related people or it was a kidnapping situation I just wanted to not have them knock on my door.  If I needed to give a statement I'd be happy to.  I'm not afraid.  I wasn't afraid to call.  I'm not going to let some kid suffer.  It honestly breaks my heart.  Life's not fair.  

Channel 9 news in Denver recently did a week long story about the foster system in Colorado & the amount of children dying or being severely abused.  Life's not fair. We were at the mall the other night & there was what appeared to be a 15 year-old girl walking around with her friends carrying a baby who was obviously hers & she acted like it was a purse, an accessory.  There's shows like "Teen Mom 2" where one of the 17 year-old mom's is now WAXING her 2-year-old's eyebrows because she's worried about bullying.  I'm pretty sure that 2-year-old's aren't into bullying & don't care about overgrown eyebrows.  I'm not even sure adults care about overgrown eyebrows.  Yet we can't have a baby ... Wow ... 

Now I'm not all anti people having kids .. I'm super excited for my friend's Melanie & "Yoda" who are both expecting.  One is having I believe her 5th or 6th & is already an amazing mom & her hubby is serving our Country in the Military & one of the best Dad's I know.  I am so proud of them both.  My other nameless friend is going to be a first time mommy.  Her and her boyfriend are so excited & I'm excited for them.  She's going to be an amazing mom & he an amazing dad.  They put a lot of thought & planning into this & it's time for them.  I'm proud of both Melanie & Yoda.  I can't wait to meet both babies.  So please don't think I'm anti-baby.  I'm not.  I'm just anti child abuse.  

In closing, the PD Officers said that the child was fine, had been on a plane for 20 hours, was out of control and was running around like a "mad man".  I'm guessing a typical 2 year-old. BUT I personally don't buy it but PD said he was okay so I have to take their word.  They did go back & recheck on him again & they said they would check on him again tomorrow.  I've been saying little prayers for him all day and if I hear what I heard again I'm calling on PD again.  If he's been on a plane from England for 20-hours & was running around he should have worn himself out now.  Everyone should have a new start tomorrow.  

P.S. An addition to yesterday's blog about the multiples.  My Aunt Margaret posted on Facebook a fact that was unknown to ME ... We DO have a history of TWINS in our family!  Oh me oh my!  Stretcher!  Cold Compress please!  
And with the family liniage it sounds like we're due for a set soon!!  I need to talk to her & do some more research.  I'll keep you updated.  Sigh.  (faint.) 

Goodbye Hormone from Hades!

Goodbye Clomid! Hello Baby?? or BABIES? (gulp)

Well, in 24 minutes I take my LAST dose of Clomid (well for this cycle.)  Let me say that I couldn't be any happier, (except for maybe my husband) I've been hot, cranky & just a plain pain in the butt to live with.  I can't imagine what it would've been like if I would have taken my dosage during the day & not at night like other's had recommended though I haven't gotten that great deal of sleep which I'm sure hasn't helped a ton.  Another side effect that I was warned about & have had was a slight headache for the past 3 days.  As far as side effects it's not too terrible from what some have reported.  Now it's onto what we, as a couple, can do to help make that baby but that's very private & pretty obvious.  ;) 

In the literature that we received with the Clomid - yes, I did actually read it - it warned in NO less than 1,000 places that there is a possibility for multiple births.  Now this didn't even freak me out in the least ... until oh, about 10 minutes ago!!!  

When we saw our first Reproductive Endocrinologist who was in AZ, he counted my follicles then advised Jonathan & me of the possibility that multiples was high with or without any fertility drugs based on how many I have.  So if a woman of "my age" can have 11 total that's considered great ... (I'm sharing very personal info so if you don't care, turn away)  I've got 32 total!  Yeah ... that's a lot.  So add to the mix a medication that helps you ovulate maybe more than once & guess what!?  Oh LORD!  Octomom!  (I just took the last dose after a short prayer to help us with the next step & that we would be Blessed with a baby but hopefully not more than we could handle)

All finished with the Clomid!!

When we went in for our initial visit with Dr. McShane she did happen to mention something the fertility medications creating multiple births but while I was calm, cool & collected my husband on the other hand was turning white, sweating & sinking into his chair - so much to the point that the Resident stopped our session & actually asked him if he was okay.  Apparently I have a slight delayed reaction response.  

So, I'm now having a BIT of a freakout about having anything more than twins.  Twins would be just fine.  We really DO want 2 kids.   

A cute little story: We met these adorable twin girls while my Dad was here visiting us last Fall.  They were 2'ish, and with their grandparent's at the Rocky Mountain National Park.  We were stopped at an outlook & they took to me right away.  I started up a conversation with one of them & their grandmother.  The little one asked if I would pick her up & after obtaining her grandmother's permission I picked her up.  She wrapped her sweet little arms around me & I was talking to her while she played with my braids.  Her sister, not to be outdone, ran up to me & wanted to be picked up too!  So, I asked if it was okay & her grandma said "okay" then laughed.  I reached down & scooper her up & had BOTH of them in my arms.  They giggled & we talked about puppies, the mountains & various other things that entertained 2-year-olds.  They were adorable & so much fun!  

As they were playing with my braids in my hair & laughing my husband rounds the corner & I yelled out "HONEY!!  Look what I just found!  They're coming home with us!"  He got that same sweaty, white, slumpy look like in the Dr's office.  LOL ... So I think that if we DO find out we're going to have twins I think it would be best to have a stretcher, cold compresses & a counselor on hand ... just in case.  ;)  

Who turned up the heat?!

Who turned up the heat?

Good evening all, I hope all of you are comfy ... well good 'cuz I'm not!  I think the hormones have finally started to build up in my system & I'm beginning to feel them.  I got SO cocky the first few days thinking ... "This is a CAKE WALK!  I'm not feeling a THING!  I'm going to just ride this out & be just fine."  Well, it's sure funny how things work out isn't it? 

 I'm starting to have hot flashes & my attitude is "beginning" to take a nose dive.  Here's today's example:  My husband went into the bathroom & he actually had the gall the leave the remote control on HIS side of the bed on HIS nightstand!  Sadly, I actually yelled at him through the bathroom door about this!  (slapping forehead) 

Now this is so NOT me!  I'm not so Honey Boo-Boo lazy that I can't get my fat butt up & walk over to get the remote.  Good gosh!  I've also NEVER yelled at my hubby for not gracing me with the remote when he's left the room!!  You'd think I turned into a Princess overnight though I'm guessing even Princess Kate doesn't yell at Will for leaving the remote on his side of the bed.  Good grief! 

Amy 0 - Clomid is winning.

So ... I guess this isn't going to be the walk in the park I thought it was going to be.  Yipeeeeee .... sigh.  I take my next dose in 1 minute.  Oops, there's my alarm.  I will keep you posted on what "fun things" happen tomorrow.  Pray for us ... or rather my husband who is stuck with me until Monday. 

 

Day One ... Clomid

Day one - Clomid

Tuesday, January 8, 2013 - We spoke with our Dr. & RN & decided that until we can save up the money to afford the IUI we will be trying Clomid (Clomid stimulates the release of hormones necessary for ovulation to occur. It is mainly used for treating female infertility. Clomid is used to stimulate ovulation (the release of an egg) when a woman's ovaries can produce a follicle but hormonal stimulation is deficient)  I posted the definition for those of you who aren't familiar with the drug, my husband & I weren't & had a BAZILLION questions!  

I take it on Day 3,4,5,6 & 7 of my "cycle" ... for those of you who aren't familiar of what a cycle is as I wasn't - Your cycle begins on day one when your "Aunt Flo" comes then you count from there.  So I take 2 pills at the SAME time each day & then start a ovulation test on Day 15, when the strip turns color (meaning that I'm ovulating) I call the Dr. & let her know.  If it doesn't turn then I get a "trigger shot" to help my ovulation along next month.  I know, it's A LOT to learn & remember.  Trust me, it's ALL written down!  LOL .. Our Reproductive RN, Cath, is amazing!  She's the best.  She's answered probably the dumbest questions ever!  But she's answered them all patiently & honestly which I appreciate.  She's great.  I'm not sure how we'd handle this if we didn't have the support of the team at the University of Colorado.  We don't know anyone here & it's already rough.  

Clomid

 So, since Sunday was Day 1, I called on Day 2 & my RN called the meds into Target Pharmacy & we picked it up ... to a tune of .. drum roll please ... a whopping $18!  WHEW!  : )   We were actually happy about that.  Our insurance doesn't cover any of it, of course, but that's okay when it costs $18!  This we can handle.  We already have an ovulation kit so we're all set for this course.  : ) 

Along with this medication comes a bunch of "fun" possible side effects.  Wahoo!  They include mood swings, hot flashes, headache, nausea or some blurred vision.  I've read a lot of community boards on Clomid & Fertility and the side effects of so I took the advice of some people & took the meds at night right before bed to help stave off the side effects.  My husband was mostly concerned about the hot flashes & the mood swings.  LOL.

NO turning back now! :)

It was a pretty uneventful night & day thus far, maybe a few mini "hot flashes".  But I don't think I've had any crankiness.  I'll have to ask my hubby.  I think he's pretty smart & will say "No honey, you've been a joy to be around" all while either crossing his fingers or rolling his eyes.  ;)  

I'll let you know how Day 2 goes.  (Crossing fingers) 

Have a great night.  

 

Love, Amy & Jonathan 

"The Plan"

This was a note that I posted on Facebook after our Dr's appt to go over our "plan" with our Dr.  This note was posted on December 17th, 2012.  This gives you a better understanding of where we are with our options.

As many of you know we had an appointment with our Reproductive Endocrinologist at University of Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine.  Dr. McShane & her staff are the best of the best.  They've been beyond amazing to us the past few months & this appointment was to put together the endless testing we've gone through (more me than Jonathan but that's okay I've got more to test). 
We meet with just Dr. McShane in her office where she explained that all of our tests have come back within normal ranges - which we already knew as we have access to them online - We fall into the "unexplained category" ... she said our options are ...
1) Clomid (an oral egg stimulating medication) then an injection that will make my lining thicker, an ultrasound to measure it to be sure everything is ready then an IUI (injection of J's sperm directly into my uterus ... to put it into a simple term ... a turkey baster method. LOL)  that's $1,000 ... that holds about a 5-10% chance of success.   Kinda a lot of money for not very much chance of success.  Plus I'm putting hormones into my body & going through a semi-invasive treatment for a 5-10% chance of a pregnancy.
2) Straight to IFV.  Using my egg & Jonathan's sperm it's a 10 - 15% chance that it would work & it's $18,000 EACH try. This involves injectible hormones, them harvesting my eggs & Jonathan's sperm, putting them together in a petri dish & making sure they're healthy - the University has the ability to extract cells to make sure there are no genetic abnormalities with the growing embryo then implanting them at a specified time.  Using a donor egg (which means a younger egg) the change of pregnancy increases to 70% & is $20,000. I sat there in tears ... it NEVER dawned on us nor had we had a discussion of every needing to use a donor EGG ... as  tears streamed down my face I had to ask "would we be able to pick out what the baby looked like?"  She kindly answered "Yes, you can pick out brown eyes, height, body type, ethnic history, etc.."  Jonathan was rubbing my back & handing me tissues.  The shock of this was overwhelming.  It STILL is ... Jonathan & some random woman's genetic material ... it's a lot to wrap my head around.  
3.) Adoption.  From the short time we've had to investigate adoption & discuss we've both agreed that we will be doing a domestic adoption - please don't try to inflict your opinions on us, this is OUR child & we have our reasons - we understand there are children all over the World that need loving homes but we have our reasons & I am not going to get into it now - and the costs range around $18,000 to $25,000 for adoption as well & that's without attorney's fees. 
So we had a VERY disappointing day at the RE's office & have a lot to think about. 
What we don't want ... We DON'T want to hear about "miracle babies" & "relax & it'll happen" or "forget about it & it'll happen" or "start the adoption process & you'll get pregnant" ... We know these words come from love but unless you've BEEN where we are we really don't want to hear it ... We're grieving ... let us grieve.  We're grieving what could've been. 
We didn't expect to have to go this route.  We've decided to try one round of the IUI & if it doesn't happen then we're just not sure which route we're going to take next if at all ... to spend $18,000 on a 10% chance on IFV with our egg & sperm is a gamble we're not really quite sure we want to take.  But to spend $18,000 on adoption is something completely different.  
We'd love a child no matter where it came from.  We'd still cheer it at it's soccer/hockey games, clap & cry at it's choir concerts, cry as it hops on the bus off to it's first day of Kindergarten & be proud to teach it to read, write & bake cookies at Christmas.  We'd love to teach it to clap, play peek-a-boo, walk, run, and swim.  We'd tuck it in every night with a kiss on the forehead & check on it before we went to bed praying that God watches over it while we sleep. 
We have a lot of tough decisions to make & a lot of money to come up with to get our dream child.  Paramedics don't make a lot of money - a $40,000 income doesn't go along way.  Doesn't mean we don't have any less love to give though.  Just pray that God will provide for us ... Obviously things won't happen soon - We have patience, we've waited 5 years & can wait more if we have to ... we want a child more than any "possession" in the World.  We don't view children as possessions, we view them as gifts from God.  If it's in God's plan for us to be parent's than we'll be overjoyed & love it more than any parent could ... if not, we'll be devastated but okay. 

Our wedding photo - March, 2007

Let me Introduce well ... us.

Jonathan & Amy

Welcome to all who are reading our little blog.  We appreciate everyone of you following our journey.  Jonathan & I have been married since March of 2007 & have pretty much been trying for a baby since then.  I just turned 40 in December, Jonathan is 30 (yup, robbing that cradle - go me!)  We met in Phoenix, AZ in 2006 & were married in 2007.  We moved to Denver in November of 2010 for my husband's job.  He's a paramedic.  We LOVE it here though I had a back injury which has prevented me from working & that's been a HUGE financial struggle on us.  We had guardianship & "custody" of my adult brother with Down Sydrome after my stepfather was sticken with Pancreatic Cancer in 2009.  He's 34 & my BUDDY!  He's my favorite sibling out of 6 (shhhh, don't tell any of the others though I know they'll be reading this .. sorry Erin & Carolyn ... I should've said he's my favorite brother? LOL) Anyway, due to the State of Colorado not having the funds to get him the services he needs ... day center or into a group home he went back to WI & is THRIVING in his family group home & is back in his Day Center with his old friends & doing his old job.  He's happy & that's all that matters though we miss him greatly.  We try & go back to see him but with finances as they are it's rough so we Skype every week.  So now it's just my husband & I and the 4 dogs & 2 cats.  :) 

Jonathan & Amy

We began seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist in Phoenix, AZ where we met & lived until 2010.  We didn't get very far & just kept trying the "old fashioned" way until early 2012 when we decided we need help.  We needed to have the tests, the poking, the probing & the blood drawing ... okay, that was all me.  He just had one simple test.  ;) 

We've been being treated my an amazing Dr. at the University of Colorado & all of our tests came back as "normal" which means we fell into the "unexplained" category ... That's where we are now & where this official blog begins.  Thanks again for reading.