Weighing on my mind ...

Life's not fair ...

0630 today I was awoken suddenly to our big dog, Cameron, growling to some strange noise that startled me.  I initially didn't understand what was going on.  Sometimes he barks at the construction workers getting up & going to their cars going to work but it was Sunday so I knew it wasn't that.  

It took me a second to realize exactly what he was growling in fear at ... the noise of a child crying & being THROWN around.  HUH??  It took me a second to exactly piece what was going on.  A small child with a high pitched voice meaning he or she was about between the ages of 2 or 3 based on its muffled cries.  I could tell their mouth was being covered.  They were crying out of desperation as they were clearly being thrown around a bathtub.  That has a very distinct sound. 

I flailed out of bed waking my husband & telling him to take the dogs out for a walk & that maybe if they were out & it was quiet I could figure out which unit it was coming from.  Then just as soon as it started, the desperate crying & flailing stopped.  

I started to cry, I figured my worst nightmare had come true.  That this poor child had been hurt beyond repair.  I waited a few minutes with my ear to the wall of our bathroom praying I would hear something ... then a few minutes later I heard muffled crying again & the child being thrown against a wall.  I figured out where it was coming from!  Finally!  

I ran to the phone & called the front desk & got a man, Johnathan, who I know well.  I was, as some of you may be, in tears .. My Jonathan was outside with the dogs & walked in on this not fully understanding what was going on.  I was just off the phone with tears streaming down my face.  He didn't want to take the other 2 dogs out but I said I was okay & that PD was on their way to check on the child.  Luckily Front Desk Johnathan had checked this "family" in the night before & knew who the were & which room they were in.  I ran back to the bathroom to listen some more but didn't hear anything, I figure that since we live in a small suburb & that it was so early that PD got that quickly, we're 2 blocks from the Station.  

Life's not fair ... I've heard that it's normal for couples, especially women, going through fertility issues to be frustrated at those who have children or have them easily.  I honestly haven't had issues with my family & friends who are mature & can afford them (they don't need to be rich but give them the basic food, shelter, clothing, education, affection & most of all love.) I'm honestly happy for them.  Some of my family & friends get pregnant & I find out later they've had their own private struggles.  Unfortunately I have a friend who jumps to conclusions & is stuck in this frustration phase & doesn't attempt to walk a 1/4 mile in others shoe's.  We don't know everyone's stories until we communicate ... but that's another story for another blog.  

Today ... I was FRUSTRATED!  Who are these parent's to throw their toddler around?  Cover his little mouth while he was trying to cry & he was obviously upset?  I'd rather listen to a child cry than that!!  I don't care WHAT time in the morning it is, children cry, they get upset, it's just part of who they are.  You don't throw your child up against walls or the tub so hard that it's heard across a building with reinforced walls.  I was sad, frustrated & angry.  Why is it that THESE people can have a child yet WE can't?  Why was God punishing US?  We treat our dogs better than these "parent's" treat their child.  I've taken care of enough kids - friend's kids, nieces & nephews & the children of the PEDS Unit & in the EMS field to know that there's a lot of ways to entertain or sooth a child ... sometimes they just need to cry & you just hold them & let them cry it out ... My mom used to take my brother's for car rides.  You DON'T thrown them up against walls & hold their mouths closed.  Yes, I'm ANGRY!  

The Police came to our door & wanted to talk to me to get my side of the story, I wanted to remain anonymous only because if it was some nasty gang related people or it was a kidnapping situation I just wanted to not have them knock on my door.  If I needed to give a statement I'd be happy to.  I'm not afraid.  I wasn't afraid to call.  I'm not going to let some kid suffer.  It honestly breaks my heart.  Life's not fair.  

Channel 9 news in Denver recently did a week long story about the foster system in Colorado & the amount of children dying or being severely abused.  Life's not fair. We were at the mall the other night & there was what appeared to be a 15 year-old girl walking around with her friends carrying a baby who was obviously hers & she acted like it was a purse, an accessory.  There's shows like "Teen Mom 2" where one of the 17 year-old mom's is now WAXING her 2-year-old's eyebrows because she's worried about bullying.  I'm pretty sure that 2-year-old's aren't into bullying & don't care about overgrown eyebrows.  I'm not even sure adults care about overgrown eyebrows.  Yet we can't have a baby ... Wow ... 

Now I'm not all anti people having kids .. I'm super excited for my friend's Melanie & "Yoda" who are both expecting.  One is having I believe her 5th or 6th & is already an amazing mom & her hubby is serving our Country in the Military & one of the best Dad's I know.  I am so proud of them both.  My other nameless friend is going to be a first time mommy.  Her and her boyfriend are so excited & I'm excited for them.  She's going to be an amazing mom & he an amazing dad.  They put a lot of thought & planning into this & it's time for them.  I'm proud of both Melanie & Yoda.  I can't wait to meet both babies.  So please don't think I'm anti-baby.  I'm not.  I'm just anti child abuse.  

In closing, the PD Officers said that the child was fine, had been on a plane for 20 hours, was out of control and was running around like a "mad man".  I'm guessing a typical 2 year-old. BUT I personally don't buy it but PD said he was okay so I have to take their word.  They did go back & recheck on him again & they said they would check on him again tomorrow.  I've been saying little prayers for him all day and if I hear what I heard again I'm calling on PD again.  If he's been on a plane from England for 20-hours & was running around he should have worn himself out now.  Everyone should have a new start tomorrow.  

P.S. An addition to yesterday's blog about the multiples.  My Aunt Margaret posted on Facebook a fact that was unknown to ME ... We DO have a history of TWINS in our family!  Oh me oh my!  Stretcher!  Cold Compress please!  
And with the family liniage it sounds like we're due for a set soon!!  I need to talk to her & do some more research.  I'll keep you updated.  Sigh.  (faint.)